Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the many conversations I’ve had with parents about children who experience the “after school release” – where children literally fall apart when they get home because they feel safe.

School isn’t an easy place to be for a lot of kids. They often work hard to keep their emotions in check because that’s what’s expected and required for them to get through the day. Then they come home. To us. And everything they’ve been carrying finally has somewhere to go.

I can relate to this experience in my own world; holding it together throughout the day so that I can show up fully for the children and families I support. Then I come home to my safe people and surrounds, and up comes my tiredness, my frustration, and sometimes my tears.

Life moves fast, faster than a lot of us would like, and sometimes it can feel like we’re out in the middle of the ocean without an anchor, trying to navigate the waves coming in from multiple directions. Our children tend to be along for the ride, whether it works for them or not. We can help to soften some of their frustration about that by offering them a daily anchor; a small, reliable moment that says “you’re safe now, you can land here”.

For me, an anchor looks like a warm cup of tea, a sit on the couch, or a moment in the garden. It allows me to feel steady enough to hold whatever the children bring in from their day. When I’m anchored, I can be their anchor.

My preferred time to offer a daily anchor to my child is immediately after school, before starting the evening routine which, like school, is often full of tasks to be completed. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. A snack together without agenda. A walk. A chapter from a favourite book. Sitting side by side without trying to fix anything. Just presence.

What’s one small moment in your day that could become your child’s anchor?

If you would like to learn more about this and how it might relate to your parenting experience, please feel free to contact me and I’ll be happy to discuss how we can work together to meet the needs of you and your family. 

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